Some of you may remember this post. Others of you may just be tuning into this section of my life (if so, I suggest reading that post before you continue with this one, just so we’re all on the same page.)
It’s been a long 9 months since then, but I feel like my journey is just beginning. Yesterday, after months of tests, appointments, and the seemingly never-ending wait for answers, I found out that I suffer from Spinal Cord Disease. I’m experiencing symptoms caused from previous damage done to my spinal cord and, well, my life is going to be different from here on out it seems. There is no cure for my disease, or any way to repair the damage done to my spinal cord. There is no way to restore the strength I have lost from my left leg. There are only a few ways to treat other symptoms and things will most likely only become worse with age.
(And, breathe. Are we all ok? Good.)
First, I am VERY glad that it turned out to be what it is (I know that sounds crazy, but stick with me) and I am very blessed to not have another disease on top of this one, or one that could shorten my life, however this one did a good job of throwing us off the quest to a solid diagnosis many a time.
Second, I’m grateful that I’ve had time to prepare. Ever since I contracted meningitis nine years ago, it’s pretty much been a given I would suffer from this someday. Well, that day is now. Sure, I’m not crazy about the fact that I’m only 27 (I thought I could squeeze out another decade or so before the real problems started) but hey, this is my path. This is my story. These are my challenges and it’s best when you tackle these head-on, heart full. I’ve got to embrace this and adjust. And if you know me personally, then you know quite frankly I don’t have much time to let this slow me down anyways.
If anything, I’ve felt like I’ve been living in limbo for quite some time now and I’m relieved to finally feel like I’ve finally found they way I am supposed to go. Despite the obstacles I can see and those that I know are still hidden in front of me, I know good things can come of this and I will make sure they happen.
My point is, this is now a part of my life, and I’m fine with letting it be a part of me. But I can’t let it BE me. Instead, I’d rather it be fuel for the fire to put something back out there that’ll bring some good to this world. I’ve realized that speaking out about my disease might help someone else along way, and I can’t expect to help others if I’m not willing to share my experience.
Friends, I don’t know exactly how this story goes from here but I appreciate your prayers, love, and thoughts that have supported me on my journey thus far. Rest assured Joseph and I are brainstorming new ideas and ways to problem solve a few things (as we tend to do!) I am so grateful and blessed to have him standing beside me through this. Teamwork gets it done and I have the best partner I could ask for.
Till next time, please know you’re loved, and I am forever grateful for your support and time to hear my story.
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